- We spend more time listening than in any other communication activity (45%)
- But we don't necessarily do it well
- We forget half of what a person says by the time they finish.
- We only remember 25% by the next morning
- We can think far faster than other people can talk
- Speech is about 150 words per minute
- We can read over twice as fast as we can listen (over 300 words per minute)
- So we allow ourselves to be distracted
- We focus on arguing or thinking ahead rather than hearing
- We filter out what we don't expect or don't want to hear
- We spend lots of time learning to write
- We get little instruction on how to listen
- But its important to listen well.
- Listening to another is a healing act
- Talking can improve health, but it requires that someone listens
- Listening to another is a bonding act
- It is the most fundamental reciprocity in relationships
- Listening to another is a bridging act
- Can you hate someone who you really know?
- We face major obstacles when we listen
- Hearing isn't listening
- The ear is not a microphone
- Listening is not a natural act
- We don't hear the same thing other people do
- Everybody perceives information differently
- Meaning is in us as individuals
- There are several forms of faulty listening
- Pseudo-listening (pretending)
- Monopolizing (output only)
- Selective Listening (hearing only what we want)
- Faulty Assumptions
- Cultural bias
- Defensive Listening (assuming attack)
- Ambushing (gathering ammunition)
- Literal listening (hearing the words but not the ideas)
- We can listen better in four steps: Stop, Tend, Organize, and Respond (the STORage process)
- Note that this diverges somewhat from the books "attending, understanding, responding, and remembering
- Get rid of distractions
- Find a distraction neutral location
- If you have something on your mind, write it down first so you can put it away
- Keep a piece of paper around you can jot down any distractions on
- Tend (attend, pay attention):
- Focus on the speaker
- Use non-verbal communication to look like you are looking at the speaker
- A wonderful side-effect is that this is often a self-fulfilling action
- Look for the ideas the facts and message details illustrate
- Look for inconsistencies
- Try to understand the others agenda
- Create a mental summary of what the other is saying
- Look for themes that tie things together
- Note key words rather than sentences or phrases
- If you take notes, try drawing a picture instead of making a list
- Provide appropriate and timely feedback
- Think about what the other person needs
- Ask questions
- Provide useful information
- Reflect content by paraphrasing
- Be descriptive rather than evaluative
- Put yourself in the others shoes: How would you feel
- Two fundamental values in responding
- Saying it reinforces the ideas
- Hearing your paraphrase gives the speaker a chance to catch missing ideas.
- Four elements of the listening process
- These four steps can be usefully applied to any listening goal:
- Informational listening
- Critical listening
- Empathic listening
- If you listen this way you may STORe what you hear more effectively
- Remember that the simple act of listening is one of the best inventions you can make in someone's health
- and the single best investment you can make in a relationship.
- The real deal is: PRACTICE
- Make a point of
- not saying something
- practicing the art of acting like you are listening
- asking questions
- looking for inconsistencies
- paraphrasing ideas, emotions, and inconsistencies
We discussed mind maps as an alternative form of note taking
See TakingNotes and UsingMindMaps
Choosing and developing a Topic for a Speech in Five Steps
- Choose a topic
- Something that interests you
- If nothing else that will make it easier to do research
- Define your purpose
- This is the "who and what" of your speech
- In General terms, you need a motive
- To entertain
- To inform
- To persuade
- To be effective, almost any speech has to be all of these things
- But one will generally be most important
- A general purpose is not enough. You want to be specific
- A specific statement of what you want to achieve
- A specific purpose will generally identify three things
- Who will be entertained, informed, and or persuaded
- What specifically the will be informed or persuaded of
- What realistic outcome can be expected if you succeed
- Define a thesis statement
- This is the "how" of your speech
- A specific statement of what you will tell your audience in the speech
- Analyze the situation
- What kind of audience will you be addressing?
- Why is the audience there? What is their purpose in listening to you?
- What is the occasion? When? Where? Are there specific expectations associated with the occasion?
- Do your research
- Personal Observation
- Web Research
Why and how: the types of speeches
- Four ways to deliver a speech (that's the how)
- Three general reasons to speak (that's the why)
- Praise and Blame
- We live at a unique moment in history
- The fundamental ways in which we create and store information are changing
- From paper-based media
- Newspapers, Books, Magazines, Personal Letters, and Diaries
- To electronic media
- Television news, e-books, zines, e-mail, and personal web sites
- And many more: the range of media is exploding
- The change is a fundamental one
- For the first time in history, literally anyone can create and publish content that can potentially reach everyone
- The last moment of this kind of profound change accompanied the mass manufacture of paper and culminated with the printing press
- And the result is a lot of noise
- An explosion of content
- Over 3 million public web sites
- Over 30 million registered domain names
- Billions of web pages
- Some people will tell you that electronic content is inferior
- I'll just say its different, and will be more so
- But easier to publish is another way of saying "reader beware"
So what do you need to watch out for:
- Purpose and Audience
- Web sites are used for a wide variety of purposes, including:
- Many would be inappropriate to use for citation
- And sites often mix up these purposes with an objective
- Information and Entertainment aimed at getting you to buy
- News, Information, and Entertainment aimed as misleading (or at least presenting a biased point of view)
- What is your purpose in using the information. What audience are you trying to reach? Is it the right kind of information?
- This question applies to any source
- Authority, Objectivity, and Accuracy
- Who wrote the page? Do they even tell you?
- What sources do they reference? Do they reference any?
- Has anyone reviewed the page?
- Freedom of speech without editorial checks is also a freedom of bias and inaccuracy
- Pages that other sites refer to at least have those references to recommend them.
- Editorially managed sources are often even better
- Peer reviewed sources are best.
- What expertise does the writer have? Can you find out?
- Do the pages appear to advocate a perspective? If so, what?
- Consider the source.
- Check the details
- When in doubt, doubt.
- Use your Common sense
- If it seems to good to be true, it probably is
- Completeness and Adequacy
- Can I get better information from other sources
- Can I get more detailed information from other sources
- Many published sources are more complete than the web
- Internet pages are often overviews rather than in-depth
- When was the page produced? last revised? How up to date are the links? Can you tell?
- Distinguish Web pages from pages found on the Web.
- Lots of older material has been republished on the web.
- If you can't find an old page, check at http://www.archive.org/
Synthesis Using Web Sites
|| -- Last edited January 8, 2016 |
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Foulger, D. and other
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