MediaSpace Wiki

Relationships And Communities Session Thirteen

Empathic and Dialogic Listening

Stewart, 206-227

• We can't talk our way into good relationships.
• We can listen our way into them.
• Three levels of listening
  1. Reflective or critical listening (me)
  2. Empathic or active listening (you)
  3. Dialogic listening (us)
• Three skills of listening empathically
  1. Focusing Skills
     • Aiming your posture
     • Natural and appropriate eye contact
     • moving responsively
     • making responsive sounds
  2. Encouraging Skills
     • Encouraging statements
     • Mirroring
     • Asking clarifying questions
     • Asking open questions
     • Use attentive silence
     • Avoid pseudo-questions
     • Avoid why questions
  3. Reflecting Skills
     • Paraphrasing
     • Respond with an example from your own experience
     • Gently pursuing verbal/non-verbal inconsistencies
• Some general guidelines
  • If you are afraid of losing your point, write it down.
  • If you are preoccupied and can't listen, say so. Try to reschedule the conversation for a time when you can listen.
  • Think of listening as an investment rather than an expenditure.
  • Practice "staying in the present"