Relationships And Communities Session Twenty Four
Planning for Dialog
Dialogue is not our normal pattern of behavior
We protect ourselves
We protect the face of others
A lot of this is done by falling into familiar prototypes
assumed role relationships
well rehersed scripts
situationally correct langauge and emotion
a fair degree of distrust of others
The right physical environment can help
relaxed dress and surroundings
an open atmosphere
but we trust such environments at our peril
is is primarily in acts of disclosure and trust that we can achieve
building trust and willingness to invest
we have to exit our normal expectations
how often do we meet the right person just after we give up on doing so?
giving up gives us the freedom to exit our scripts and defenses
Key issues in planning for dialogue:
questioning and disclosing assumptions (Peter Senge)
Forms of planned dialogue
Not about dialogue, but often acheive it
Brainstorming (which we have already discussed)
Rules of non-criticism
All ideas have value, at least in suggesting others
Typically composed of strangers
No expectation of meeting again
Hence no prior power relationships or expected future implications
Meetings often start with guardedness and mistrust
Questions oriented to exposing assumptions
asssumptions that are often about mirror fears
exposing assumptions (self-disclosure) builds trust
Somebody has to "act stupid"
asking a "stupid" question
saying something that other people are afraid to say
leaving the normal scripts for interaction on an issue
stating the unexpected
it is in this that we start to reveal our hidden rules, assumptions, and scripts
and discover that we usually agree on far more than we differ; that stereotypes get in the way of understanding
Dialogue Strategy 11:
Where applicable, identify mistrust as the real source of misunderstanding.
Dialogue Strategy 12:
Err on the side of including people who disagree.
Dialogue Strategy 13:
Encourage relationships in order to humanize relationships.
Dialogue Strategy 14:
Expose old scripts to a reality check.
-- Last edited September 18, 2015
Unless otherwise noted, the contents of this page were written by participants on the Media Space Wiki, operated by Davis Foulger, and should be cited accordingly. For example (APA):
Foulger, D. and other participants. (September 18, 2015).
Relationships And Communities Session Twenty Four.
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