- And we operate within the context of "display rules" that are associated with specific occasions.
- There are two variations on these rules
- Framing rules - What behavioral requirements does this frame (situation) have? How am I supposed to act (regardless of how I feel)
- Feeling rules - What am I allowed to feel in this situation. How am I supposed to feel (regardless of how I act)
- People often don't care about how we actually feel so much as they care that we act appropriately within the situation.
- But its often important to know the difference between feeling and faking
- Consider the convicted suspect who insists, at sentencing, that while they feel for the family of the victim, that I wasn't them, and they can't apologize for something they didn't do.
- the judge and family are likely to look harshly on this message.
- the family may see the convict as a liar who won't face up to his actions
- the judge will often impose a tougher sentence because the convict shows no remorse
- but what if the convict didn't do the crime
- how does the criminal balance lieing to get a better sentence and their desire to fight on to demonstrate their innocence?
- and even if the convict decides to lie in the interests of getting the lighter sentence that will likely come from remorse, will they be able to pull it off convincingly?
There are cues to fakery, but none are perfectly interpretable:
- The Duchenne smile
- Pupil dialation
- and others, including blood pressure, heart rate, and galvanic skin response, all of which have been used in lie detector testing.
- A Note on Lie Detection:
- none of which doesn't mean that we can't control out error producing stimuli
- do we like candlelight dinners because we can read pupil dialation better?
- bottom line: these cues are difficult to observe and harder to interpret
More important is the effect that expressing an emotion has
- A smile often makes us happier
- A frown often makes us sadder
- and the reality that how we feel about things is contextual
Two strategies for managing emotions (from the acting world)
- Surface acting (managing expression)
- Deep acting (managing emotion)
- sometimes called method acting
- Lee Strasberg: the most effective film performers were those who did not act. “They try not to act but to be themselves, to respond or react,”
- uses spontaneous reaction to acheive strategic effect
- strategies associated with deep acting (example: making a kiss look and feel genuine)
- managing eliciting events: imagining an event to which the desired emotion is the natural response (e.g. imagining that you are kissing your significant other)
- managing appraisals: thinking about events differently (e.g. making believe the person you are kissing is your significant other)
- other variations include managing focus, minimizing the importance of what is occurring, focusing on the positive, making the imagined real (e.g. how often do we see the stars of a movie date for real afterward), and using labeling ("guests" or "marks" rather than "customers" or "people")
- managing physical reactions
- exercise, relaxation, physical work, drugs, etc (e.g. taking a couple of drinks before kissing so your inhibitions are reduced)
- deflecting real emotions by managing expressions and impressions (e.g. when the kiss is over and moves to a hug, make a yuck expression that can't be seen)
- managing time to the emotion through social and antisocial strategies (e.g. if your emotions won't let you kiss now, wait until they subside)
- time-out strategy
- seeking and avoiding people
- managing interaction
- Real emotions don't give us time to think
- this can make management difficult
- Emotional hijacking is an everpresent risk
- So is manipulation via emotional response
- Two additional strategies for the management of emotion
- controlling emotional climate
- providing autonomy
- minimizing fear
- create expression spaces (times and places)
- use humor to diffuse tension
- be aware of contagion
- creating meaning
- emotion is an expression of needs and values
- understanding the needs and values can give us control of the associated emotions
- and the opportunity to change them
|| -- Last edited September 18, 2015 |
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were written by participants on the Media Space Wiki, operated by Davis Foulger,
and should be cited accordingly. For example (APA):
Foulger, D. and other
participants. (September 18, 2015). Relationships And Communities Session Twenty Three. MediaSpaceWiki. Retrieved on from
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